damnsel

Ok, ok.

2011-05-04T16:48:00.003-04:00

Inspired right now to make something happen. It's the feeling that only rolls around every once in awhile and I need to move fast before it fades away!

Looking at people who are doing things I want to be doing. Reading blogs and googling all sorts of things to piece together the next steps. Gathering, organizing, and piecing it all together.

Good things soon to come!

annual blog post

2011-03-03T22:48:00.002-05:00

haha, looks like this same time last year I also had some inspiration to get back to this blog. Hi, March 2011!

A whole damn year.

2010-03-09T00:36:00.001-05:00

Wow, it's been almost a year since I've posted anything here. I gotta wake this site up. Get up!

Wasting all my words

2009-03-27T22:32:00.003-04:00

in Facebook. I really need to revamp this site so I am more interested in it. Maybe I need to revamp my life so I feel more interested. Need to stay focused on something long enough to make it happen outside of my head.

no words needed.

2009-03-02T15:25:00.001-05:00

Spent hours

2009-01-31T22:10:00.004-05:00

wandering around MoMA today. I posted a ton of pics on Facebook but I'll put one that you can only see here. It's hard to get the full effect cause this is a photo of a video of a live event-graffiti artists were 'writing' on an outside wall of MoMA with light. Most were tags which were cool but this one was a star.

Laurel's Kidrobot hoodie

2009-01-19T21:36:00.002-05:00

looked so cute on Fatty but it was just a tad too small.

I love this girl

2009-01-13T21:29:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-01T18:01:00.002-05:00

2009 is going to be a damn good year. Thanks Alex Grey for hosting an incredible party! Thanks DJ Cloud for being the amazing YOU that you are!

No pics to prove it

2008-12-29T20:49:00.002-05:00

but been cooking a lot- last night made roasted beets, garlic kale, and herb goat cheese sandwiches on sourdough bread.
Tonight- butternut squash and green beans in coconut milk with rice.
Yum, it smells so good in here!

Fatty waiting

2008-12-21T16:10:00.000-05:00

in the old hallway, before fancy new tiles came.

Must see

2008-12-15T10:54:00.002-05:00

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/12/top-10-incredib.html

Saw Nathaniel James Ferry today

2008-12-14T18:18:00.002-05:00

for the first time- he's one week old now. Welcome baby Beane- you're gonna be great!

Its snowing in Texas

2008-12-11T00:14:00.001-05:00

red bike and texan were friends.

My favorite things today

2008-12-09T23:26:00.002-05:00

unicorn dream attack

Minnesota

red bike

my friend Grace's laughter

A classic

2008-12-08T19:20:00.002-05:00

Devildog!

I spent most of my Saturday

2008-12-07T13:57:00.001-05:00

as a halfling elf (represented by a squirrel in this photo).

If you've ever met her

2008-12-05T20:40:00.002-05:00

you know how much she loveloveLOVEs doing this.

Happy bday!

2008-12-04T22:25:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I wonder how and why we're friends- we see the world from 2 different perspectives. THEN I think of all the times that you've never failed me. It's been a long road when I look back and it's funny how we've seen each other through some crazy shit. You don't need me to say....you just know.

XOXOXO

Fatty con'td

2008-12-03T19:13:00.000-05:00

Comforting

2008-12-02T19:42:00.004-05:00

When I got my wisdom teeth pulled Fatty was very sympathetic- she assumed this position on her own!

Until I feel

2008-11-30T21:53:00.004-05:00

moved to write something I'll just keep sharing photos from my unfinished project where I was going to take a photo of Fatty every day.

Knows.

2008-11-28T00:07:00.003-05:00

A lot of other families love to talk shit about each other on Thanksgiving. At least they still make the effort to get together every year.

Guggenheim

2008-11-26T22:16:00.001-05:00

Evil and Sparkly.
Photos by Dan V.

Passion!

2008-11-24T10:38:00.008-05:00

This is EXACTLY what I've been obsessed with all weekend- finding something to be passionate about. This kid gets it!

Projects

2008-11-24T02:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I finally uploaded the 337 pics that were on my camera.

On January 1st I decided to take a photo of Fatty everyday for a year but sometime shortly after, my camera took a trip to Toronto in the back of my friend's minivan. By the time it was returned to me I was out of the groove and didn't finish this project.

Small-dog and puppet rodeo

2008-11-23T05:35:00.005-05:00

Spent the day at the filming of a webisode for comedy central.

Played hooky from work

2008-11-19T15:18:00.002-05:00

and spent the day meeting up spontaneously with people I love- it was a dreamy kind of day where everything flowed perfectly and I hadn't planned a thing. Spent a few hours with each group of people and realized that I need them all for different things- some hang out and commiserate/ tell me everything's going to be fine. Some make me laugh and council me. Some buy my beers and whiskey and get me drunk enough to pass out with my clothes on. What a crazy day.

There's gonna be booties shakin' EVERYwhere:

2007-09-18T21:14:00.000-04:00

AWESOMENESS INCLUDES:
-Choirs of Titan rocknrollin LIVE at 10pm
-DANCING to Dance music of every kind all night long
-Booze and soda and water (it ain't free but Larissa serves it with a smile)
-There's also a video game (Buck Hunter), Fooze ball, and a pool table! OMG!!!!

OUT ON THE PATIO:
-Dance Dance Revolution (2 gamepads, baby)
-A red hot Bar-b-que* for meat and veggie eaters alike!! (GERMOPHOBES TAKE NOTE- the grill's good as new, Jay gave it a good ol' scrubbin')
-and Fatty will be there wearing a big pink bow and stealing your sandwiches.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!!! (I adore you all and want you to help me celebrate that I made it through one more year and still have a smile on my face! AND if you miss my birthday I will shame you for years to come- ask Karen she missed birthday '03 and has yet to hear the end of it!)

*I'll be providing SOME hotdogs and burgers of animal and non animal kind, corn, veggies, and S'MOREZZZZ but please be generous and bring something to share!

LOVELOVELOVE,
LISA

Made by Jessica:

2007-09-13T21:49:00.000-04:00

So once again

2007-09-11T21:28:00.000-04:00

I'm putting together a circus-like event to celebrate my birthday. There are so many cool folks, old and new, that I'd like to spend more time with and it'll be nice for one night to have them all gathered together in a place where we can dance and eat and laugh. So many people I want to introduce to each other; finally they'll be able to put names with faces from stories that I've told and also make their own connections.

I really want to put all the details about the party up here!!!! I want everyone to get a better glimpse of the fun night to come so they can feel as excited as I am.

Hopefully next year I'll break this vicious cycle. I am once again lost in my inexperience and don't know how to do what I want with this website nor have I found anyone who cares enough to pick up the slack where my knowledge fails me. Ugh. All the other party details are falling together so gracefully (pop rocks anyone?!) that I know it'll work out somehow!

Been living on

2007-08-24T01:38:00.000-04:00

the most erratic sleep schedule. Things feel all foggy and I'm not sure if I'm awake or dreaming. It's fun at first but now that it's been going on awhile it's getting too intense.

JASON'S HOME!!!!!

2007-07-26T23:47:00.001-04:00

Found this printed somewhere:

ROCHESTER, NY - Jason Lyons pulled his sergeant from a burning Humvee. The 18-year-old came home Thursday for a couple of weeks of R and R.

Lyons' family stood proudly holding signs welcoming him back home. He's been in Baghdad since March. The Canandaigua native is getting some praise for saving his sergeant while he was there.

"We were driving down one the roads when we were hit by an IED," said Lyons.

That was June 1 outside of Baghdad. His sergeant was stuck in a Humvee that was about to go up in flames.

"It was really confusing. I didn't know what was going on at first. I knew we got hit again. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew he needed help so I helped him," said Lyons.

With broken bones and burns, the two were then taken to a Baghdad hospital. For the first time, Lyons was able to talk to the man he saved.

"He thanked me when we were both in the hospital in Baghdad and was just wondering how I was doing and was more concerned about me than himself," said Lyons.

Lyons is getting a Purple Heart for his heroic actions. He's also walking away with a few reminders.

"I took two pieces of scrap metal to my right leg and two to left arm and burns and cuts on left arm," said Lyons.

He's OK now and happy to be home, for at least a little while. He has mixed emotions about going back.

"A little bit, but at the same time I want to stay home, but I definitely want to get back to my platoon," said Lyons.

Lyons is home for the next two and a half weeks. Then he'll go back to Baghdad.

Transformers the movie was

2007-07-23T00:39:00.000-04:00

really fun! It's been awhile since I felt like I got my 11 bucks worth.
Anyone want to see it, I'd see it again?!

I love summer.

2007-07-08T01:00:00.000-04:00

77 drummers drumming.
Whoa.
I've never seen or heard anything like it and I know tonight I'll only dream that I'll have another chance to experience something like that again-77 FULL DRUM KITS set up in a spiral, outside in a park on a bank of the East River that's nestled perfectly between the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges! and me completely entranced, sitting on a blanket on a sunny summer day with friends taking it all in.

AND I saw Choirs of Titan yesterday and they were great as usual
AND after the Boredom's show today we were invited to some exclusive after party where I saw Soiled Mattress and the Springs (a terrible name) who put on a really fun show.

and there's still 1 more day left in the weekend!

What is it that I am most wanting to achieve?

2007-07-03T00:18:00.000-04:00

CLARITY!!

Love the long walks with Fatty through the neighborhood, visiting crazy characters along the way. It's helping me sift through my thoughts. I'm more productive, happy, content.

Crawled into bed

2007-06-06T22:38:00.000-04:00

and almost forgot my list

Day 3:
-Cherry yogurt
-Egg and cheddar cheese on a croissant
-banana

-Arugula, tomato, fennel salad
-french bread
-1/2 of a super fresh neopolitan that was meant for Emeril (guess me and security are the only ones dumb enough to eat pastries from random strangers- it was maybe the best one I've ever had and if I end up in Kingston I'm gettin' another one!)
-2 cupcakes with the frosting peeled off (couldn't decide between chocolate and vanilla so I ate both)
-Cheese and triscuits again.

Feel like I'm forgetting something. It's ok though.
Today Tasha asked me if they gave me a stress management class to help me do my job. Sort of a sad/good compliment. We decided that I'm a great multitasker and can do 5 things all at the same time but 6 I can't. I used that line a few times today when too many people were wanting shit from me all at once.
SIGH. Today was crazy.

Day 2

2007-06-05T20:33:00.000-04:00

Croissant with butter and berry jam
banana
strawberry yogurt
cameo apple

- above paid for, below free.

"zen popeye salad with tofu" (greens, chickpeas, avocado, carrots, red wine wasabi vinaigrette)
pomegranate-apple smoothie
2 pieces of berry pie (mmmmmmm!)
small chocolate brownie (minus frosting)
2 spinach filo dough things
few bites of some sweet tamale
cheddar cheese and triscuits (bastards are sneaking MSG into the flavored crackers, ewh)

oops, forgot about that bag of Lay's sour cream and onion potato chips!

So I finally remember

2007-06-04T19:46:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write down all the free food I eat each day during an Emeril run.

DAY ONE:
Lemon yogurt
whole wheat everything bagel (one side with plain cream cheese, the other with olive)
small bunch of purple grapes
2 marshmallow peppermint peeps
a roasted beet salad (w/arugula, goat cheese, walnuts)
garlic naan
mashed potatoes
m&m ice cream cone
doritos
fresh delicious bread

not so bad...

I'm just sayin'.

2007-05-29T17:37:00.001-04:00

Canoeing. Biking. Eating. Laughing. Driving. Swimming. Jumping. Flying. Splurging.

Besides going through the easy pass without an easy pass and finding a hair in my gelato, the past few days have been ridiculously FUN!

Haven't been

2007-05-16T17:07:00.000-04:00

feeling like writing. That seems to happen when I'm caught up in FEELing too much about too many things.
Hopefully soon I'll sort it out enough to make some written sense of it all.

I'm here.

and here.

and over there, and there and here.

God damn

2007-05-01T15:26:00.000-04:00

riding a bike when you're drunk is stoooopid!

It was such a weird night to begin with but it sucks that we parted ways and yours turned so tragic.
I've been lazy for so long and always hitched rides on your handlebars which seemed kind of dangerous but if I had been riding on them this time maybe they wouldn't have been able to stab you and break your ribs! Damn! Finally got my shit together and got my own wheels and this....

Poor little Quinn!

I like glittery things

2007-04-27T12:50:00.000-04:00

alot right now; sparkly, blingy things that walk the fineline of tacky.

I also like that life is not that stressful right now. Or at least I can't find much to worry about even if I think about it really, really hard- indeed a rarity for me.

Except I don't know what I'm going to wear tonight...but I just did laundry so I think I have alot to choose from.

Sheesh, a calmer life seems kinda boring.

Mmmm, rubber.

2007-04-17T11:56:00.000-04:00

Yay, Rainboots!!!

Wearing them makes me feel invincible! I can walk through the deepest city puddle and not care that it's probably filled with rat guts and gasoline.

Kinda the same feeling I get when I have on a pair of rubber gloves- I've touched some nasty, stinky body parts (while piercing) and will pick up the grossest stuff (excluding dead mice) as long as my hands are covered in latex.

Next spring I'm investing in a raincoat and some wading pants!

Holy F#*cking Shit!

2007-03-23T12:09:00.000-04:00

If you haven't seen the flik 'Mommy Dearest' in awhile, you have to check it out.

I'm speechless.

I'm still here.

2007-03-13T22:24:00.000-04:00

Just been overwhelmed by everything that I don't know what to say. Really think my life is much like Bill and Ted's. Feels like I mapped this all out already and now I'm just living it. All that I've been wanting is falling into my lap.

Stunning.

Wegmans

2007-02-24T23:51:00.001-05:00

oh how I miss yoooooou! You are so awesome.

Kinda scary that I went to NJ twice in one week but it totally felt like a mini vacation each time. It really looks quite different from NYC and has a welcome slower pace.

Thanks for having us. Zipzipzip!

I think I have some good things

2007-02-18T22:28:00.000-05:00

to say. But often I find people who've said it better than I could...Marianne Williamson did:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Another period of social overload

2007-02-18T00:39:00.000-05:00

I need to look back and see if there's any kind of pattern to this. Everyone seems to come around all at once. And then all of a sudden it's quiet and lonely again.
My day started at 7am this morning and I'm so looking forward to laying my head down. Save research on this for later.

and for the record The Secret was a better flik than I expected. and it's cool that I could just buy it and watch it right away!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Stayed home today to collect myself.

2007-02-16T17:34:00.001-05:00

It would be so valuable to all that I'm doing and thinking about to write everyday. I have all these good ideas for things I want to write but I'm so excited and overwhelmed that I have a total writers block. Annoying.

Last night was so great-can't believe how many people I ran into! and I didn't realize that I'm surrounded by so many cool folks. Glad people are getting excited about my projects and are talking about them and wanting to be involved. It's been along time since I was really into doing any kind of group project. Hopefully I learned some lessons from previous experiences and this one will work out even better than those. I'm really looking forward to seeing what will come of all this!!!

Until we chose

2007-02-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

to change and do things differently, we will continue to get the things we've always gotten.

Reason #3472

2007-02-05T23:18:00.000-05:00

I need a digital camera:

I'm supposed to be making a portfolio of my haircuts to get a job at a salon as a stylist not an assistant. I'm doing at least 2 a week and have nothing to show for it. Grrrrrr.

Morimoto 75 9th Ave NYC

2007-01-30T15:49:00.000-05:00

Restaurant week lunch with the girls:

White and beige, circus tent, squishy comfy seat with handles, clear chopsticks, one kind of sushi I've never had before but would sure like to again, ass washers in the toilet, beautiful cherry blossom glass thing in the bathroom stall, no toilet paper.

That about sums it up.

Let's make out

2007-01-27T22:07:00.000-05:00

have anti-brunch and go on an adventure!

7 Things I'm Excited about

2007-01-24T17:29:00.000-05:00

Meredith hosting a haircutting party-thanks!

Iron Chef watching party-Ooooh! Mmmm! Fun!

Random collection of peeps taking field trip to NJ-hmmmm!

Participating in BCAT and EAC!- Yup.

Manifesting things most wanted- Doin'it!

Excessive (but FREE) text messaging-whoo!

YOU reading this cause you give a teeny fuck about what's going on 'round my world-THANKS!

Morimoto vs. Cantu

2007-01-18T09:57:00.000-05:00

"Chicago chef Homaru Cantu challenges Iron Chef Morimoto to a battle never before seen in Kitchen Stadium. Chef Cantu, renowned for his use of lasers and technology in the preparation of his dishes is hoping to stun the judges with creativity and flavor, but will Chef Cantu’s style and flare be enough to win against Iron Chef Morimoto?"

Seriously awesome. I worked on this one and it was by far the most fun and suspenseful episode of Iron Chef America I've seen! I'll be watching it at 9pm this Sunday. Y'all can come over to my place but I'm hoping to maybe find a spot with a bigger and better tv and/or sofa...lemme know if you have any leads!

Feng Shui works, I swear!

2007-01-10T15:17:00.000-05:00

Since I moved my computer at work to a new spot (where my back isn't facing the door) all sorts of good shit has been happening.

For example:

Today I pitched my first show idea and the executive producer said it was an "EXCELLENT" idea! I can't disclose it yet but I'm glad I finally came up with SOMEthing. It just hit me today and I emailed her right after I thought of it. How cool, COOL!

I drove all night to get to you, is that alright?

2007-01-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

Remembering how one sweet boy once drove from 8 hours away, through the night, to get to my apartment in Brooklyn by the morning. I awoke to him calling to let me know he was outside. Surprise!

He presented me with a beautiful, meticulously prepared, gigantic plate of fresh fruits, bagels, and cream cheese. WOW! What an amazing start to the day.

That was fun.

...Maybe I should have called you first but I was dying to get to you...I drove all night...

I was alittle less serious about things then. In spite of this long distance thing I was in the middle of SOMEhow that same morning I remember scrambling around the apartment trying to figure out how I was going to explain the weird squatter-y kid* who was ALREADY sleeping in my bed from the night before!

*For the record he was just my friend! I think we made out at some point way after this though...and then he took 20 bucks from my kitchen table and I've never seen him since.

Lifetime award for most inspiring dance music!

2007-01-09T05:18:00.000-05:00

I wandered out of bed to go to the bathroom at 4:30am and I haven't made it back yet cause I started listening and dancing to Daft Punk and can't stop. ONE MORE TIME....we're gonna celebrate, oh yeah, don't stop the dancing...

Now girls, we just have to find the perfect weekly dance spot and my life would be complete!

Today

2007-01-06T20:07:00.000-05:00

was such a beautiful, wonderful, inspiring, spectacular day! A whole lot of fun things happened and I am especially grateful that Fatty got to hang out for most of it. I need more friends who have no pets that welcome the 2 of us into their homes. It makes for guilt free hanging out! Ahhhh.

Feeling elated

2007-01-04T13:19:00.000-05:00

and so grateful for everything that I have.
Things are cruising along at a pretty fast pace and I'm feeling more moments of joy than anything else.

I hate getting fucked with

2006-12-29T16:25:00.001-05:00

and one day my big mouth is going to get me in trouble.

But until then, FUCK YOU!

Don't give a fuck

2006-12-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

about what anyone else is doing, just do your own shit!

Make it, build it, shred it, sell it- just do SOMEthing!

Maybe I need to start watching more TV

2006-12-21T16:10:00.000-05:00

so I can enjoy the drama from afar rather than hunting it down and playing it out in my real life. I find crazy people fascinating but also find it so frustrating when I'm done being amused and just want them to "be normal." Grrrrrr.

I want to stop eating so many cookies, prepare more meals for myself, drink more water, dance more, collect more music, find more crazy (not mean) people, publish more stories, entertain Fatty more, call my family more, take a tropical vacation, and find reason to laugh my ass off more more more.

Am I???

2006-12-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

Doing the right things? Making the right choices? Talking to the right people? Having fun in the right way?

Am I HAPPY???

Don't know if I'm ever really happy for more than a few moments at a time so I don't think I can claim to BE happy on any kind of permanent basis. I think things are going pretty well but just when I try to sit with that for awhile some dumb shit happens that makes me think I'm all fucked up again. Mental illness? Lifestyle? LIFE? Who can I blame around here?!

I forgot

2006-12-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

how working out makes me so hyper. It feels so good! Prolly be hurtin' tomorrow though.

Reason #3379

2006-12-04T21:36:00.000-05:00

why I need a digital camera: so I can show you me in my swanky new glasses!
They supa-fly!

I might have had enough cash to buy one if I hadn't tried to wash my phone down the drain! Oh well, someday it'll work out.

Been riding this streak

2006-11-30T11:51:00.000-05:00

of weird/ bad luck. Hopefully it's coming to an end cause this shit's annoying. Hopefully I can blame it on my bad decisions and if I stop making them everything will fall back into place.

I got a long list of holiday party invites so at least that'll keep me distracted...

Reason #3291

2006-11-17T13:49:00.000-05:00

I need a digital camera so I could have taken a photo of the food network holiday party invitation- imprinted on the top of a cupcake. Brilliant! How'd they do that anyway??

Now I've since eaten the cupcake (Minus the frosting which means I could have potentially saved the invite -it was way too sweet!) so I've got nothing to remember it by....ah, digital camera....someday you'll be mine...

I'm looking at you, you're looking at me...

2006-11-13T20:12:00.000-05:00

I didn't walk away.
and if you're wondering why... I said I'd be there to wipe the tear from your eye.
Push me away.
Tell me to stay.
Can you imagine my confusion?
Well, I don't think you ever thought you could.
Don't think you ever thought you could.

Funny.

2006-11-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

Its been a while since ya came around,
Now ya wanna see whats goin' down.
Tryin' tell me how you want my time,
Tryin' tell me how i'm on your mind.

I remember how you did me wrong,
Now your hurtin' cuz my love is gone.
Everybody gets a chance to burn,
You can take it as a lesson learned.

Ain't that funny?

Lessons don't go away.

2006-11-03T20:20:00.000-05:00

They keep presenting themselves
until we learn them.

Arrrrgh! I HATE THAT!!!

No!!!

2006-10-31T18:07:00.000-05:00

I didn't cause it,
I can't cure it
and I can't control it.

Sorry. It's so hard to believe sometimes but it's the only real truth.

Man walks down the street and falls in a hole.

2006-10-30T17:38:00.000-05:00

He thinks, "How did I get here?" So he struggles and struggles, finally getting out of the hole. He goes home and goes to bed.

The next day, he gets up and walks down the same street. He sees the hole and keeps walking. In the hole he falls again. He thinks, "Now isn't this just great!" So he struggles and struggles again finding his way out of the hole. He goes home and goes to bed.

The next day, he gets up and walks toward the same street. He remembers the hole. He chooses another street.

I want it NOW!

2006-10-26T11:27:00.000-04:00

In general, I like to think that I'm a woman of great patience.
I can tolerate annoying people, screaming babies, long lines and other situations that tend to drive most people crazy.

Problem is, when it comes to relationships I freak out and can't sleep until I get all my questions answered.
I know everything needs time, blah, blah, and getting there is half the fun, lalala, but STILL! I WANT IT NOW!
I want to know what's going to happen and how this is all going to play out! Who's gonna be left standing and who's gonna win the big prize? OOOOoooh, what's going to HAPPEN???

I'm sparkly.

2006-10-24T16:51:00.000-04:00

that's what Charissa said this morning. Guess I was just still excited about last nights yoga/chill out party and hopeful that today would provide me plenty of opportunities to flirt with my latest crushes.

And yes, it did.

Ahhhh, I watched in awh as Alton Brown recited his wise, articulate verse for the last time this season....and Chef Jay's always rambling on about something but I'm too busy staring at his snazzy new haircut to really hear a thing.

All in a day's work.

Sometimes it feels like my whole world is crashing down

2006-10-19T21:28:00.000-04:00

at my feet and I think "WHY? What the fuck?! What is wrong with people? Why are they all so crazy??"

then David so kindly reminds me of 2 vital lessons we learned in 2002:

1. Girls are Crazy.

2. Boys are Stupid.

....and it helps me make sense of it everytime.

Having a bad day.

2006-10-03T11:24:00.000-04:00

Couldn't sleep well last night cause I was thinking about my bad habits and the fucked up slacker shit I do sometimes. It affects other people and I don't always care that much. I'm selfish. I make plans and break them. I'd rather be by myself more than with most people.
I spend money to feel better. I don't invite anyone so no one will question my purchases. I buy too much disposable shit. I tell myself I NEED to buy things but that's just cause I want them so bad.
Wallow, wallow.

AND, I wallow too- UGH.

How dare I forget

2006-09-28T15:02:00.000-04:00

the people who share some weird psychic energy with me. Whenever I think about them alot, they turn up. Seriously, you just know when you're on my mind. How the fuck do you do that??!

Anyway, thanks Jen (and Jay too) for contributing to this friend-filled birthday experience!

Thanks mom for poppin' me out.

2006-09-28T11:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks to my homies for getting my birthday celebrations started 6 days early, to Emeril for pouring glasses of Prosecco and starting my birthday with a BANG (HA! couldn't do it), to candles in chocolate cheesecake, to Lewis and the band for the huge bouquet, to Robert for carrying all my flowers, and to free PBR at the Hogpit.

To Quinn and John for still being good friends and letting me tend to your wounds.

To Karen and Jon and Cheeky and Laurea and DY (by phone counts) for ringing in the first few minutes of my new year!

To Nick for being a meticulous tile layer and growing me a sunflower. To Pop Tarts and Gatorade, and the water taxi!

To Karen for always showing up no matter what!, to Marco the MINI convertible, to driving with the top down, to the sun and the monarch butterflies (38 of them!) flying down Washington Street, to Karma Kafe's lunch buffet, to Danny for holding down Hoboken with that same stoned smile, and to the Egyptian singing car attendant for the lil' diddy.

To Genevieve for patiently waiting, Charlotte for showing me dead mice, Sophia for dancing, Terhune Orchards for having the best apple cider donuts and apples- Macouns, Jonathans, Macintosh, and Jonagolds. There's gonna be some baking this weekend!

To my momma, Billy and Zari and Amanda and my Uncle Brian for sending me birthday wishes.

THANKS ALL!!! My birthday's always a big deal to me and this one was no disappointment.

The vibe is energized by the presence of my spirit.

2006-09-27T02:05:00.001-04:00

This birthday started almost a week early but I guess that's cause there's so much fun to be had- couldn't possibly cram it into only one day.

Holy shit these days have be FUN!!!

Minicooperminicooper!

2006-09-17T20:57:00.000-04:00

For the first time in my life I truly and thoroughly derived pleasure from driving a car. Jay would be proud.

Like that scene from Ferris Bueller's day off, we just cruised around the city with the top down and wind in our hair and tried to find fun places to catch some speed. Coney Island, the Verrazano and back, and all around Brooklyn and Manhattan. It was really swell and we'll definitely do it again. ZipZIPcar we love you!

Say you just can't live in a negative way!

2006-09-13T21:22:00.000-04:00

Speaking when I've got something on my mind. Knowing when to hold my tongue. Feeling all I've been working on come together. Keeping my eye on the bigger picture, the picture keeps getting bigger! Realizing who's always by my side no matter what goes down and loving them unconditionally. Finding people who inspire me. Listening to the wisdom falling from wise lips. Laughing at the lessons I'm learning that I wish I would have learned the first time. Longing to see what's coming next and after that and after that.

I didn't feel much.

2006-08-22T15:45:00.000-04:00

When I saw you crossing the street I just felt "HOLY SHIT!" escape from my lips. I couldn't see you for a second as you chose which way to turn but I sat very still cause I just knew that you were coming in my direction. I felt a warm wave rush over me as I sat there waiting to see if you were still coming closer.

Sure enough there you were, just feet from me for the first time in almost 2 years. It was like a scene I had seen many times before- you squeezed your phone between your chin and shoulder so you could reach in your pocket and pull out a cigarette. Before it was lit you were gone.

Out of habit I kind of wanted to call out to you- a long lost friend. Maybe you're lost, maybe not. But you're surely not a friend so I just put my lips back up to my straw and went back to enjoying my smoothie and staring at all the interesting people passing by.

I think it's dreadful

2006-08-21T22:02:00.000-04:00

and incredibly scary and sad that my cousin just graduated from high school and has enlisted in the army. Not completely surprising but shocking all the same.

I want to cry and scream really really loud!

I don't do it on the regular but I'm going to make sure that from this day on I spend a few minutes everyday talking to some higher power. I'll be begging to keep what little bit of family I have safe and sane. *sigh*

SWWWEEET!

2006-08-14T14:57:00.000-04:00

Hootie the Blowfish are/is(?!) playing at the first show I helped produce!
That ain't bad. Not at all.
Sept 19th y'all if you want to come and check it out!

Do people really fly around in spaceships near the moon?

2006-08-10T17:36:00.000-04:00

What the F*#k?! Today I stood by and witnessed a whole conversation between someone sitting right in front of me and 3 men floating around inside a ship somewhere in space- in REAL time!!! Totally mind blowing. Wow.

Um, did I tell you how much I love my job?

2006-08-02T14:16:00.000-04:00

Well, first of all I'm officially full-time! Whoo-hooo. Insurance, paid days off, and my name on the outside of a cubicle . For the most part, good things.

Today I got to spend the last 2 hours screening and analyzing possible new shows. Both were quite snazzy and I'd watch more (IF I had cable and all!).

And I got free lunch too!

Can't remember

2006-07-24T22:02:00.000-04:00

my schedule being this booked. Sometimes I've been busy and I end up running around doing social stuff for days in a row but I think this is the first time I had to mark my calendar because I have a commitment every night. Pretty exciting too cause either they're dates for flirting or cutting hair. I can't ask for more! Having so much damn fun right now...

Bad ass bitch.

2006-07-22T02:56:00.000-04:00

Yup, we're figuring it all out over bottles of wine...too much wine...I'll fine you...

So close, so close

2006-07-17T23:04:00.000-04:00

and yet so far.....

Sometimes it freaks me out

2006-07-14T17:04:00.000-04:00

how when I get into something I get REALLY INTO it. It's a fineline between excitement and obsession.

As much as I talk about how much fun

2006-07-13T14:55:00.000-04:00

I have at my job, it IS still a JOB and sometimes sucks.
Like today.

I'm afraid to ask anymore.

2006-07-12T15:24:00.000-04:00

I keep getting the same answer.
I think I'm under some curse that's only letting me have crushes on boys named 'Alex'. It's pretty weird. I don't even remember knowing ANY before June and now I know I've made out with like 5 of them! I'm totally exaggerating but seriously, it's strange. I know I always date the same TYPE of guy but now I only like only one NAME?! What have I created?!!
Maybe it's because I like too many boys right now and at least if they all have the same name I'll never get confused? Hahaha.

I DID IT, I GOT IT!!!

2006-07-07T16:42:00.000-04:00

Picked up my diploma yesterday and drank some nice Prosecco to celebrate. Got some snazzy red nailpolish on and am ready for the super social weekend I have ahead. OH YEAH!!!

White. Garish. Creepy. Old. Fat.

2006-07-06T13:14:00.002-04:00

Taffeta. Matching dresses. Swords. Tuxedos. Banquet halls. Tiaras. Thrones. Podiums.

http://www.amaranth.org/scamaranth2/amaranth_fun_2005_1.asp

The girls are back in town!

2006-07-05T13:57:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, Vermont...we're so in love with you! Well, you know, we love you each in our own way. Like Fatty LOVES to eat toads and roll in deer shit. and I LOVE sunbathing in my hammock and gardening at the farm.

Either way, we'll see ya again real soon.

and since I'm at it

2006-07-02T06:16:00.000-04:00

you know what else bugs me? When people tell me they'll meet me at some ungodly hour, I actually get up and get ready, and then they show up like 3 hours later. I could have been sleeeeping still!
If I go with the 'look on the bright side of things' theory though I have to admit that I don't mind much seeing the sun rise...but there are some weird creatures (besides me, thank you) out on the streets of Brooklyn at 5am.

and since I'm sitting here already- Thanks Gen for responding to me here (I KNOW, David, you tried and I finally figured it out so try again, please!) However, I can't reveal the name of the married cheater here but I'll tell you when I see you next weekend!

It really fucking bugs me

2006-06-29T17:12:00.000-04:00

when I find out that someone I know who's MARRIED is running around fucking someone else! and this isn't the first time I've had to know about someone's scandal like this.

It's a fucked up thing to do PERIOD but I feel even more unsettled if you're a woman. You should know better and care more than that. What kind of character do you have if you are 30 years old and married to someone but have no respect for him even though you go home to him every night? It's really really fucked. If your husband doesn't fuck you like you'd like to be fucked than leave him! It seems like it always gets revealed in the end though so eventually it'll work out. Your husband is kind of dumbass though cause I'm sure he senses somethings up but he doesn't want to believe his gut because he TRUSTS YOU. Fuuuuuck.

I've been there (on both sides) and it's just such a shitty thing to betray the trust of someone like that. I wish I never found out when it happened to me. It just made me feel like there's no one in the world who could be worthy of my trust. Stop it.

I stole this from Laurie Stone.

2006-06-28T15:53:00.000-04:00

The thing about writing (as with sex) is that when I’m not doing it I forget how I exist in it.